It happens to the best of us: That toy acquired in the mists of times past that Just. Will. Not. Die. And so it is in the Carlisle Household: Noisome hamster that produces an assortment of irritating sounds, each calculated to be more aggravating than the last, culminating in a sort of final trumpet call to the deaf, a squeaky ‘Here We Go!’ as the little critter skitters away to an inaccessible final resting place under the sofa.
It was Jack, actually, who started experimenting with ways to Kill Hamster. Not, you understand, because he really wanted to bring about the blessed creature’s final demise, but because, scientist-like, he just wanted to see what he could make Hamster do. In the interests of science, Hamster was immersed in ice-cold water, then plunged into the depths of the freezer (which makes for a startling moment of confusion when preparing supper……) but still Rasputin emerged, victorious….. and ruthlessly undead.
There were some battle scars, however. Hamster may still be with us, but his voice box is somewhat fainter. His defining shout (Here we go!) has become ever weaker, yet, like the elderly relative whose death releases millions, he clings defiantly to life, with a piteous mewling that scares the living daylights out of me as I clear away the day’s detritus. Still. H…e…r….e W….e. G………..o.
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